10 little things for everyday self-love and reconnection

I connect and work with so many personal development leaders who wait until they feel stressed out, unbalanced and disconnected before they decide they need to practice what they preach and actively work on themselves from the inside out first. Feeling the responsibility of their working lives and keeping up with the demands of caring for others, they can often put their own foundations of self-love and care to further down the order of the day than they would ever mention to their clients and those in their teams.

Living your purpose in life to serve other people and leading that purpose requires being open to new perspectives, staying curious and creative and using the power of your own insight to make decisions. And all of this amazing stuff uses your precious energy. If you don't have the energy, your purpose in life begins to feel hard and that can be the slippery slope to that word that makes us all think we’ll never go there - burnout.

Staying balanced and being in good natural energy is a practice, it’s not something you learn and then just do. Leading a busy life can easily take over our connection with ourselves that cultivates that wonderful energy that keeps us in a high vibe. Having a few mindful ways you can reconnect with yourself throughout your week can really build up a gentler way of being with yourself and help you to tune in more rather than tuning out with distractions and those things you know are not serving you. Watching hours of Netflix or scrolling on socials might feel good at the time, but then afterwards it’s back to reality and you know deep down there is something that still feels unresolved inside and that feeling is your inner self begging you for a little mindful self-love and care.

I first started doing these things when I was a little girl. It is amazing that when we were small, we easily managed to be present doing little things. Being present with ourselves cultivates greater self-awareness, natural acceptance and ability to let our thoughts come and go. It is good for our mental well-being and for the energy we need to be the best of ourselves.

As we grow older though and we want to serve powerfully, we have to consciously create time and space for these types of activities and the value in doing a few of these in your week is immense.

1.Be mindful with your cup of tea

I used to sit for a longer time with my tea when I was grieving from losing my mum and partner.

Something about being with a hot cup of tea in your hands is comforting and feels giving to yourself and your emotions. Simply sit for a longer amount of time but in quietness with your daily brew. Make the tea and notice the habits you choose over and over again while you do this act. Notice the way you place the cup and pour the milk etc. Notice that you want to fill the time you wait for the kettle to boil (multitask anyone?). Once made, don’t eat with the drink, just have the tea and be with the experience of doing something really simple for yourself. Sip slowly, look at your tea. Let your mind wander to what made you want this cup of tea today, let your thoughts wander back to you and your needs. This is a meditation in itself.

2. Bake and savour your favourite treat

Baking has been a connective practice of mine for a long time. Long before I realised the benefits it was bringing me to help me be more present with myself. I put some relaxing music on and lose myself in the chemistry and mixing of making something from scratch. And the best thing? You have something really delicious to enjoy and share. Challenge yourself to eat it more slowly, take your time over the eating part and use all your senses to experience and be grateful for what you’ve taken time to create. And if your mind tells you that you don’t have confidence in baking, I highly recommend giving yourself a break from trying too hard and just having a go. Biscuit making is a great way to begin. Ask my daughter, she started with biscuits and now there’s no stopping her! She makes the best millionaires shortbread I have ever tasted!

3. Be at one with nature with a small bird sanctuary in your garden

I have adored birds since I can remember. Watching and being around birds will bring you back to so many things that will fuel you and make you feel instantly reconnected with yourself and the world again. Birds are an integral piece of our natural environment and can help us connect with our own natural cycles, watch them eat seeds and replant them all over, look for different species and help give back by doing the RSPB great garden bird watch !

4. Plant seeds and watch nature grow

Nature is amazing and actively participating with our natural world can help us reconnect with ourselves and with our natural ability to let go of what we no longer need. Getting involved doesn’t need you to be an expert either. Every year I plant a crop of sunflowers, I buy seeds from my local garden centre and plant them in my little greenhouse and I enjoy nurturing them and watching them grow. I love it when it’s time to take them out of their nursing trays and plant them in my border at the bottom of my garden. I can see them growing from my kitchen window and they bring me so much joy. At the end of their cycle, I dry the flower heads and keep some of the seeds to give back to the birds.

5. Watch the sunrise to help you breathe

Getting up early to watch the sunrise quietly is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give to yourself. It reminds us that after the end of one day there is a new beginning. It taps into the knowing that we have inside that is OK to let go, it is OK not to hold onto yesterday and to just live for today. How beautiful is that?

6. Write your way to more self-love

I cannot recommend keeping a journal enough. Keeping a notebook to hand will help you to clear your mind and understand your thoughts and patterns. It helps you to be present with those inner habits, to accept them and to create space for more mindful intentions to appear. It relieves stress and overwhelm and encourages the greatest benefit of self-development - reflection. Reflection is a mindful superpower. If you’re not taking some time to reflect, you could be repeating many self-limiting beliefs that create resistance and frustration. Be still with a little bit of writing once per day and you will open up some amazing insights.

7. Reconnect with others regularly

We called ourselves The Grateful 8 !

Honestly, as an empath, for years throughout my twenties, I used to find phone calls really uncomfortable. When I look back I was just a little afraid to just express myself as me. My mind chatter was strong back then. Actively creating conversations with others over the phone and on video calls, especially at this time, can help you to know that we are all connected and we are all moving through changes. I recently completed an amazing 6-month mentoring journey that connected me deeply with seven other purposeful souls. I have made connections for life and we are now creating something incredible together! Take daily actions to connect!

8. Have a nanna nap or meditate!

Remember that feeling that your eyes are just asking you to rest them for a few moments in the afternoon slump? This has been a revelation to me! And I have to say it does not happen often. But when it does and I allow myself to be rejuvenated by a daytime sleep, it’s the most amazing feeling in the world. And if you struggle for that time to switch off, breathe through the tiredness and meditate. Meditation and breathwork can help you reset too and as a meditation teacher I fully advocate meditation for self-care and deep connection, but the message here is to sleep when you need to sleep. Experts agree that the body needs 7-9 hours of sleep per day and if you’re not managing that, taking 5 minutes in the afternoon to close your eyes will at least recoup some much-needed energy. Set an alarm if you need to. I am sharing reset meditations over on my Instagram.

9. Take a bath and light a candle

I have always loved a self-care bath. For me, water is our great healer. Water is representational of our emotions and spending time relaxing in the water can help your muscles to let go and your mind to follow suit. I used to use so much stuff in my bath though which most was probably not that good for my skin. Over the last few years, as I’ve become more present with my body, I’ve been experimenting using more natural ingredients in my mindful self-care soaks like natural oils and salts. And these days I am even collaborating with other brands and practitioners that advocate self-care and mindful connection. I actively seek out people who make self-care a priority in themselves and their clients as one of my key values is the powerful changes a connection with self can bring.

10. Read an inspirational story

Something for me that is much more connective than social media and watching tv is to read something inspirational in a physical book. I love to hold an actual book in my hands. I connect with it physically and this is a much more mindful experience than watching a youtube video. The book I co-authored with Inspirational Women of the World contains 21 incredible stories of overcoming challenges from women all around the globe.

Not only am I really proud of this book but I am currently collaborating with Hayley Kooner Beauty by sharing a limited amount of signed copies with this specially put together self-care Eve Taylor gift box that you can combine your mindful soak with something to reconnect with your inspiration! You can order your limited edition gift box for yourself or someone you’d like to encourage self-love with below.

The gift box contains:

1. Eve Taylor® Uplifting Bath Oil

2. Eve Taylor® Relax and Self indulgent candle (orange, geranium, ylang-ylang and lavender)

3. A signed copy of my book ‘Inspirational Women of the World’

   Buy the gift box here.

*Eve Taylor products are ethically sourced and contain 100% essential oils from sustainable sources. Most of the packaging can be recycled. And the brand runs a ‘Give Back to Nature’ campaign, in partnership with Trees for the Future who plant a tree on their behalf for every product sold. Check out my live interview on self-care with the lovely Hayley over on Instagram here.

We are so busy talking, we've forgotten to LISTEN to one another

Mindful listening

These days we are so focused on our thoughts and actions that we often forget how to listen with care. Practicing mindful listening simply means that you are intentionally engaging in the skill of deep listening. The art of listening is as much about your mindset as it is about the actual  practice of listening.

This is not something that many of us will have been taught to do in our lives or work! However, when you believe that listening deeply is important and that the practice of listening will bring about positive response, change or action, then this skill will become a great asset to you.

Try this exercise to begin practicing deep mindful listening:

Choose ten minutes where you are going to practice mindful listening. At first try this on your own with your surroundings then later try with a partner and then following this in a group of people.

1.     Pay attention to your intention

Set your intention to mindful listening. By setting an intention to practice deep listening you have focused your attention on the exercise. You must believe that listening is important so focus on why you might want to listen deeper for these ten minutes ahead. Make the commitment to yourself to do this for the full ten minutes.

2.     Remove distractions and get comfy

Turn your phone, laptop, TV whatever might distract you off or to silent. This will produce the right conditions for mindful listening. Make sure you are comfortable. If you practicing with another person is there anything that can be done to make them more comfortable and remove distraction too?

3.     It’s not about YOU

Take the focus away from yourself. Put yourself into the situation fully, the atmosphere, the other person’s shoes if you are practicing with a partner or group. Practice respect for the experience, situation or other person. If you are thinking about yourself, you won’t have the space or attention to give to mindful listening.

4.     Be quiet

We don’t often get a chance to practice being quiet in our busy lives, but you need to learn to become still in order to be able to hear the whole experience. If you are not used to being quiet or spending time listening, try a walk outside in nature. Listening in intently to the sound of our natural world can be incredibly calming, healing and will help fine tune your listening skills. Practice trying to listen in for the gaps in any noise of the birds singing, the wind whistling or the rain drops falling.

Listening is a lost art

Practice deeper listening on your own and with others…

 5.     Be curious

Don’t make assumptions and assume you know everything. Listen without judgement, release the compulsion to react. This is especially important if you are practicing mindful listening with another person or group. Making assumptions can make us miss important details in another’s response. If you are listening alone while you are in a park for example, then listen deeper than you normally would.

What can you hear that you wouldn’t normally hear? How can you listen more intently? Be curious about what is there.

6.     Be kind to yourself and others

You may find that you feel it difficult not to want to start thinking about what YOU want to say next, to butt in, or be judgmental in your mind before the other person has finished their sentence. Be patient with yourself and bring yourself back to your original intention – to mindfully listen deeply to this experience and/or the person present. By practicing bringing yourself back to the mindful present feeling you will slowly improve your skill. If you found yourself distracted by your own thoughts and you think you may have missed something, you could clarify and ask them if what you think you have heard is correct.

7.     Use your heart to listen

Try your best to connect deeply with the experience or the other person. How can you open yourself up more to listening deeper? Allow your heart to listen so you connect to them on a deeper level than normal. Listening with your heart means practicing empathy. When we pause and give empathy and respect we are fully acknowledging that person by holding the space for them to speak. We are allowing the space for unsaid communication to begin. We are allowing the other person to be open towards us and in turn a sense of awareness of the experience or the other person will become clearer to you.

Want to go deeper? It all starts with you…

The key to cultivating deep mindful listening and genuine connection to others begins with the relationship that we have with ourselves. Practice intentionally and quietly listening to yourself and own heart so that you may notice the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise in yourself. Rather than trying to put them to one side, just be aware of their presence.

If you take time out to listen in and understand yourself more with empathy, love and non-judgement, you will begin to feel more appreciation and compassion for yourself. This in turn will help you to feel more respectful, loving and compassionate for others and will improve your genuine connection, your deep listening skills and improve your relationship with yourself and others.

If you’d like to try my mindful walking exercise to begin your journey to a deeper connection with yourself simply download this here.

I also offer one to one nature coaching sessions in person or via zoom - connect with me today to book this powerful experience!

“Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.”

― St Benedict.